I didn't lie to you, Angie. --I'm not tryin' to justify, just clarify.
[ He put his own hand up, out to the side as if to ask she hear him out for that moment. ]
What I did tell you was real. I know I skirted a lot, thinking the subject was going to come full circle to being with the Bureau. But I didn't lie about what I shared.
[ His hand had fallen back to his side. Derek felt that they were still at an impasse. She had a right to stop wanting him in her life but he wanted to set the record straight. While he understood her point, he wasn't so sure she fully understood his. He sure as hell never meant for anyone to feel like his keeping the life he had before Eudio as some kind of affront to who they were as a person. ]
And how's that gonna work? --Telling you I don't wanna answer. I don't know any woman who's good with being shut down on conversation. How long before "I don't wanna talk about it" leaves you feeling the exact same way; one sided?
[ He learned that lesson at a young age, seeing his father die when they were just supposed to pick up milk from the store. His father died a hero to someone else. It took years for Morgan to realize he'd followed in his old man's footsteps. Maybe that was what kept him from genuine attempts at a relationship. Then again, seeing Hotch lose the mother of his child because of a psychopath from a case wasn't all that encouraging either. ]
I was wrong for making decisions for you--I get that. But if we're gonna be honest here, let's be honest. In one respect or another, everything I do comes back to being a Fed. Because that's the job.
[ There were times Derek felt cursed which stemmed all the way back to his childhood. More than the loss of his father, he was damaged goods thanks to a predator in his neighborhood. Being physically fit and working hard at everything was a way to fight that voice inside. Maybe he'd never have an inner peace but Morgan did everything in his power to bring some to others--be it volunteering as a big brother or flipping properties for lower income families. He tried giving others a chance that he didn't have.
Yet he didn't see that about himself. ]
Except here. The only expectation anyone has here is for a good time. And I just screwed that up.
[ His hands went out, exasperated. He folded his arms quickly over his chest. Frustration was heavy on his face but no longer was he asking forgiveness or making an apology. ]
It goes without saying that I don't want anyone knowing my job before coming here but I'll say it. Last thing I wanted to do was scare you. [ His face softened briefly. ] I'm sorry about that.
no subject
[ He put his own hand up, out to the side as if to ask she hear him out for that moment. ]
What I did tell you was real. I know I skirted a lot, thinking the subject was going to come full circle to being with the Bureau. But I didn't lie about what I shared.
[ His hand had fallen back to his side. Derek felt that they were still at an impasse. She had a right to stop wanting him in her life but he wanted to set the record straight. While he understood her point, he wasn't so sure she fully understood his. He sure as hell never meant for anyone to feel like his keeping the life he had before Eudio as some kind of affront to who they were as a person. ]
And how's that gonna work? --Telling you I don't wanna answer. I don't know any woman who's good with being shut down on conversation. How long before "I don't wanna talk about it" leaves you feeling the exact same way; one sided?
[ He learned that lesson at a young age, seeing his father die when they were just supposed to pick up milk from the store. His father died a hero to someone else. It took years for Morgan to realize he'd followed in his old man's footsteps. Maybe that was what kept him from genuine attempts at a relationship. Then again, seeing Hotch lose the mother of his child because of a psychopath from a case wasn't all that encouraging either. ]
I was wrong for making decisions for you--I get that. But if we're gonna be honest here, let's be honest. In one respect or another, everything I do comes back to being a Fed. Because that's the job.
[ There were times Derek felt cursed which stemmed all the way back to his childhood. More than the loss of his father, he was damaged goods thanks to a predator in his neighborhood. Being physically fit and working hard at everything was a way to fight that voice inside. Maybe he'd never have an inner peace but Morgan did everything in his power to bring some to others--be it volunteering as a big brother or flipping properties for lower income families. He tried giving others a chance that he didn't have.
Yet he didn't see that about himself. ]
Except here. The only expectation anyone has here is for a good time. And I just screwed that up.
[ His hands went out, exasperated. He folded his arms quickly over his chest. Frustration was heavy on his face but no longer was he asking forgiveness or making an apology. ]
It goes without saying that I don't want anyone knowing my job before coming here but I'll say it. Last thing I wanted to do was scare you. [ His face softened briefly. ] I'm sorry about that.