"The crew, they're the only family I have left back home." Even if they survived, Inara wouldn't have anything left to go back to. She wouldn't be able to go back to being a Companion, not even at the training house. The Alliance would make sure her career was completely over. There was her father but he wouldn't let her stay with him, he wouldn't understand how she'd been part of something that undermined the Alliance. Serenity was truly all she had.

She managed a small smile. "Zoe would disagree with you. If she knew what I was doing, she'd tell me I was stupid for not taking care of myself first." But she'd also be thankful, Inara knew that. Zoe and Wash had something that Inara would never have and she was okay with that... They deserved to be happy and have a long life together and if Inara could help make sure that happened than she was more than happy to do it.

"Derek, I didn't tell you any of this to make you feel sorry for me. I don't want that. I just want you to understand..." And even then, she wasn't entirely sure she'd explained herself properly. She'd let him in farther than she'd ever let anyone and now he knew more about her than anyone did, even back home. "Please don't tell anyone, I don't want to be treated differently."