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Inara had been in the back of the shop going over a list of things that still needed to be bought and sighed as the list just grew longer and longer. Plus the things that needed fixed... Seemed as though she was either going to have to offer Derek the jobs or she was going to have to find someome else who could do it.

Her head snapped up when she heard his voice and she had to take a moment to calm her suddenly racing heart. Drawing in a deep breath, she tugged her kurtis in place, made sure the matching pants weren't riding up and then moved towards the front of the shop. Seeing Derek again was like a punch in the stomach and immediately she was resting her hand on one of the display cases as she studied him.

"Hi..."

"Hey. Where'r those shelves?" he immediately asked.

Given his profession, Derek was skilled at keeping a poker face, and he did just that. His glance was even and his body almost fully relaxed. Almost. Inara had been with him long enough to note he wasn't as casually posed but could easily mistake it for an attempt at being professional.

Her eyebrows drew a little together but outside of that she managed to keep her expression neutral. She really didn't know why she expected something more from him but really she supposed she was lucky he was even talking to her.

"There's a couple of different ones that need fixing," she finally said and turned and motioned to the large shelves ling the back wall. It was obvious whivh of them needed fixing since they were missing the wood slates and those were leaning against the wall. There were other shelves in the back that needed fixing but the ones in the front were the most urgent.

She turned to face him again and even took a step closer to him. "Derek..." She hesitated for a moment and it was obvious she wanted to say something but instead of saying what she wanted, she just said, "Thank you."

He noticed how her brows knit together but showed no reaction. Derek stayed as neutral as Switzerland. Maybe slightly colder. His eyes followed to where she motioned. He lowered his toolbox to the floor then donned his toolbelt before picking up the toolbox and moving toward the shelves.

His brown eyes watched Inara tentatively, blinking when she took a step close to him. A part of him considered stepping back reflexively but stood his ground. He remained silent, only giving a nod of his head before turning to work on the shelves. It was a little restrictive working with the sweatshirt but the job was done in fifteen minutes.

"Anything else?" he asked, removing his ball cap to wipe sweat from his brow with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. If she had other work, he'd dress down some more

Inara had quickly excused herself once Derek had started in on fixing the shelves because she was beginning to tear up. She hadn't expected a kiss or anything but perhaps a bit more warmth than he was showing. Once safely in the other room, she wiped at her eyes and tried to keep from crying because this was all her faultnto begin with. She was the one who had broken things off.

Hearing him speaking, she wiped at her eyes again, cleared her throat and stepped back into the room. There wasn't much she could do about the redness in her eyes but she hoped Derek would just not look at her and not see. "There are some shelves in the back that need to be straightened and then a cabinet in the bathroom... Derek... Would you like a glass of water?"

Now he wished he was less observant, immediately noticing the redness in her eyes. His jaw clenched. Maybe it was allergies. The place was a little dusty. It couldn't be anything to do with him given she made the call ending everything between them.

He nodded his head at her direction of more shelves. "Yeah. Thanks," he quietly answered her offer of water then began to undo his toolbelt tossing his ballcap onto his toolbox in the interim. Derek dropped his toolbelt on top of his ballcap and peeled off his sweatshirt.

He balled the sweatshirt up, leaving it on one of the shelves that he just fixed then put his toolbelt back on and picked his ballcap and toolbox up. The cap was left with the sweatshirt on the shelf before making his way to the back to start work there.

She was glad he didn't say anything about her eyes because she would have lied to him for the first time ever. She nodded though and straightened her shoulders before turning and heading into the back to get him some of the water she'd brought with her. She hoped he didn't mind Grape Strawberry Lime infused water because it was all that she'd brought with her.

She took a few minutes to bring him the glass because honestly, she needed that few minutes to pull herself together. Him being near her and her not being able to even touch him was harder than she'd imagined it would be and the way he was acting, she was certain that he hated her. She'd done what she had for a reason though. She'd invested more in the whatever type of relationship that they'd had than she should have and had grown to care for him entirely too much. She knew that she'd developed feelings and like he'd said, he hadn't come to the city to get in a relationship and really, her feelings were entirely unfair to him.

And now she was paying for those feelings and that was exactly why she'd just wanted him to drop the tools off and she would have somehow managed to fix everything herself. But no, now he was there and she was having a hard time and he didn't seem to care.

Shaking her head, she headed to where he was fixing the next set of shelves and quietly placed the water within reach of him. She didn't say anything, just turned back to the table she'd been working on her lists earlier and tried to concentrate on the figures before her.

The way she just dropped off the glass of water without a word got under his skin. He was trying hard to remain professional, give her what she had asked for but for someone who didn't want him to hate her, Inara was being infuriating. He refused to take a drink though he started working up a good sweat. The shelves in the back were being worked on at a faster and louder pace. It was a miracle he didn't break something else in the room in the process.

Shelves were easy. The cabinet in the bathroom would take more careful and intricate work. Derek stopped to finally take a sip of water and choked slightly. He hadn't expected anything flavored--the water spilling into his mouth as the aroma hit his nose. He coughed and cleared his throat suddenly finding her bringing him flavored water as more infuriating. His free hand balled into a fist and sat on the table unconsciously as his eyes narrowed in the direction she sat.

He should not have been so angry. This was nothing more than a fling. Women broke things off with him all the time, except maybe, Derek usually saw it coming. Inara had caught him off guard. He thought they had fixed the falling out they had. It wasn't as if he intended on having her listen to him having sex with another woman. She hadn't told him that she wanted something exclusive. He chugged the last of the water and set the glass down then returned to the cabinet.

It was another forty five minutes total since fixing the first set of shelves before he finished. Derek didn't bother to close up his toolbox or take off his toolbelt. He swaggered up to where she sat and stood with hands on his hips. "See if the cabinet is how you want it," he stated void of any emotion whatsoever. He'd be damned if he let Inara get the best of him. This is what she wanted, she needed to suck things up.

Inara wasn't trying to upset him, in fact she was trying not to say much so she didn't upset him even more. Though from the noise he was making hammering at the shelves was making her think that she wasn't able to do much of anything right around him. She glanced over towards where he was working but seeing how concentrated he was on hammering away at the wood, she turned back to her papers.

She dipped her brush in ink and then began to once again write out everything she'd be needing to open the shop in a decent amount of time. She would need paint because she planned on repainting not only the shelves but also the shop walls. She'd need to find oils to use for massages.... She's already started on collecting and drying flowers and herbs in another room of the shop... And then curtains---

She blinked, glancing up in almost confusion when she realized that Derek was talking to her. She turned slightly on her stool so she could actually see him and set the brush down on the table. He wanted her to look at the cabinet... She nodded before she slipped off of the stool and began to skirt around him. "I'm sure it's perfect, but I'll look..."

His arms instantly folded in front of his chest as she moved around him toward the bathroom. He couldn't help but scoff at the move. "Nothing's perfect. You either like it, or you don't." It took all his restraint not to add that he hoped she could be honest with him this time around and not waste more of their time. Biting those words down made Derek realize how bitter he was over what took place.

He took a breath, unfolding his arms to knead the tension rising up the back of his neck. "Just be honest with me, please." Derek exhaled what could be interpreted as a sigh. He avoided looking at her, not wanting any more reminders or to give her ammunition on the worry she had that he'd hate her. "I'll stay out of your way while you check it out. The plumbing needs to be looked at so I'll do that." He paid no notice on whether she heard a word he said or not.

Inara stopped behind him and her lips pressed together in annoyance. She was truly trying to remain friends with him, well maybe not friends but friendly enough. He was making it more than obvious that he wanted nothing like that, that he wanted nothing more to do with her. Maybe she should just accept that and quit trying so hard for something she just couldn't have.

"I'm sure I'll like it then... And why wouldn't I be honest with you? It's obvious that this is the last place you wish to be and I'd truly hate to keep you here longer that what is absolutely neccessary." She reached up and tucked a stray curl behind her ear before heading in to check out the work he'd done.

Edited (forgot a part of a sentence.) 2015-12-21 19:35 (UTC)

"If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be here. What you see is what you get, Inara! That's been your problem all along! I've never said I'm something that I'm not. Hell, I didn't even plan on sleeping with you in the beginning! You opened that door!" Derek scoffed with an angry smile, shaking his head. "So guess it makes sense that you got to close it too."

He sauntered over to his tool box and started putting tools away. All his words were yelled in her direction, giving a shit less if she looked back and acknowledged him or not. Derek was fuming at her continuing to turn things at him.

She froze at the doorway to the bathroom, her back stiffening more and more with each word he yelled at her. Though she was furious, she was managing to keep her temper from exploding. He was being absolutely ridiculous and she just didn't understand him at all.

"Then why did you? You could have turned me down." she slowly turned to face him and her voice was deceptively soft and calm. "I'm sorry you're so angry about all this, Derek. I'm sorry if I hurt you, that wasn't my intention all. Just like it wasn't my intention to end up caring for you as much as I have... I suppose there are just some things we can't help. If being angry at me makes you feel better, then keep being angry at me."

Was she kidding?! His scowl turned to an incredulous look. Inara wasn't the only one who could project a calm facade while raging inside. He slowly rose from his crouched position with eyes firmly focused on her (finally).

"This is what you call caring? I'd hate to see what you call hating someone. I'm not wasting any more energy yelling at a mountain which won't move. Just check the work I did and stop making this about me. I didn't start or end this. I'm here because I want to be here and I know where the door is if I wanted to leave." Maybe the situation was about control. Derek refused to let her have any of it. He stood with arms folded tightly over his chest, eyes glaring though his face was calm.

"What more do you want from me, Derek? Please tell me, because I just have no idea. Whatever I was giving you before either meant absolutely nothing to you or it simply wasn't enough. Or maybe I was naive and you were right, it was all suppose to be fun and I took it all too seriously, started to fall in lo--," she quickly pressed her lips together and shook her head. What was wrong with her? How was it that she managed to lose all sense around this man?

"Truthfully, Derek... With you, I broke all of my own rules and I have no one to blame but myself. You never promised me anything and yet I expected you care for me as I do-- did you. Hearing you with whoever that was, it was an eye opener. We expected two different things... And maybe I just expected too much." She looked away, and shook her head again. This was why she had wanted to do things on her own. She lost all sense of logic around him and ended up saying way more than he ever needed to know.

She soothed trembling hands over the front of her top and then looked back to him. "I don't hate you, I just don't know to be around you anymore. I don't know where I stand with you..."

Edited (Damn html and spelling) 2015-12-22 03:51 (UTC)

So much for a calm exterior. Except he wasn't raging mad this time. He shared her exasperation on what they were supposed to be. The idea of going backward to friendship when neither seemed to change how they felt--wait. Fall in love? His frustrated look turned into question. Was that where Inara was going? That she had fallen for him?

"How, Inara? How was something you already knew about me an eye opener?" Derek demanded to know. His arms unfolded when he realized what she nearly said. He also walked toward her instead of keeping the distance he'd been determined to keep. "You talk like I meant to make that call. Is that how I didn't care for you? Something happened out of my control--or do you think I did that on purpose?! You have any idea how many times you've had to say you don't hate me?"

He could be considered dangerously close. Barely an inch separated their chests. He had refused to look at her the first time she kicked him to the curb. After what Inara nearly stated, she needed to look him in the eyes and tell him that it was over. "What is it you want? Why are you so afraid to say it?"

If she'd had any sense she would have walked away as quickly as she could and not looked back. But she didn't, not even when he began to move closer to her. And then he was close enough that she could feel the heat radiating from his body and she knew how easy it would be to just press herself against him and she wrapped her arms around him.

Inara kept her gaze focused on his chest and she had to clench her hands tightly at her side to keep from touching him. "I knew you were sleeping with other women but... I didn't know details and I could pretend you weren't... but hearing you with someone else--" She hadn't been able to pretend anymore and it had hurt knowing that he was with other woman and for some reason, she hadn't been enough.

Swallowing, she slowly lifted her gaze to meet his. "Because things I want, I just can't have. Shouldn't have..."

"Why?" he pressed. Morgan usually wasn't one to do so unless it was work. Mainly, he didn't like it being done to him. Yet there was no end if he didn't now with Inara. He had to know. And he wouldn't say exactly what he questioned... Why she shouldn't have the things she wanted, why she chose to pretend he was someone other than who he was, why she could look at him that way but insist she didn't hate him?

He lifted his hands and cupped her face between them. Inara would have to physically extract herself from him. "Why, Inara?" There was more she wasn't saying. It didn't matter if 'love' never left her lips. More was underneath the surface that needed to be said.

She stared up at him and would have done anything she could have to distract him if she knew it would work. But she knew that distracting Derek wasn't going to work this time. Now was the time for actual answers instead of running away and that terrified her. She'd opened this line of questioning and she knew that he had the right to know, it just saddened her to know that he might actually look at her differently.

One of her hands came up and her slender fingers wrapped around his wrist as tears began to form in her eyes. "Because all I can ever offer anyone is now, I can't offer them a future even if I wished to," she said her voice just above a whisper. She closed her eyes for a moment as a tear escaped. "Even if we survive the fight.." She trailed off and opened her eyes and stared at him sadly. "I changed my incentive you know. My first incentive, it was for me but with what happened, I asked them to save someone else instead when they approached me the second time."

His hands remained steady but gentle. Her soft skin didn't need his rough palms pressing against her jawline. She couldn't look away. He wouldn't look away. A thumb reached swept away the tear that fell. Sympathy fell on his features but he held back any words. Derek hadn't asked for something specifically for himself as an incentive. He wanted to repair the damage his team had suffered. However, it sounded as if hers was life threatening.

"Tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. Eudio or not. What was your first incentive?" Derek asked with pleading eyes. She had reasons not to trust him, regardless of his intentions but he hoped Inara would try.

She didn't want him looking at her differently or even treating her differently but she knew he was smart enough to have pieced together what she was saying. The damage was already done and if he was going to do those things, there was little she could do to stop them.

"I--" she sighed and then drew in a deep breath. "I asked them to heal me. I'm sick, Derek... And the doctors in my world with all their advanced medicine, they can't do anything for me." And even knowing that, she still hadn't slept with anyone other than Derek to speed up her incentive. "But when I was sent home and Wash died... I knew that I couldn't ask for anything for myself when he meant so much to his wife."

His hands fell away from her face to allow Inara some room. Derek couldn't stand any notion of an innocent person feeling coerced. His hands fell to the outsides of her elbows in a supportive gesture, holding her as lightly as he had her face in case she did want to distance herself from him. "He had to mean a lot to you too. Or she does. Both. They're like family. I get it," he uttered supportively.

"We have more in common than you probably realize. And there's no one to blame for that but me." He lifted a hand to run his thumb over her cheek affectionately one last time then let go of Inara completely. "My incentive is to help the people I work with who I've grown to consider like family. They've each lost a lot more than the job was ever entitled to taking. So I understand. And I'm proud of you." Derek offered his first genuine smile to her in days.

He had spent a couple of weeks working on a Christmas gift for Inara but knew in that moment it wouldn't be enough. Neither would Derek tell her what he was planning on doing. If there was any use to the law degree he obtained from Northwestern, it would be that he could argue a case fairly well. The city would approach her and offer her healing as an oversight on their end for having accidentally sent her home before her time.

Eudio would have a nightmare on their hands if the administration dared to deny him his request. That much, he was certain.

"The crew, they're the only family I have left back home." Even if they survived, Inara wouldn't have anything left to go back to. She wouldn't be able to go back to being a Companion, not even at the training house. The Alliance would make sure her career was completely over. There was her father but he wouldn't let her stay with him, he wouldn't understand how she'd been part of something that undermined the Alliance. Serenity was truly all she had.

She managed a small smile. "Zoe would disagree with you. If she knew what I was doing, she'd tell me I was stupid for not taking care of myself first." But she'd also be thankful, Inara knew that. Zoe and Wash had something that Inara would never have and she was okay with that... They deserved to be happy and have a long life together and if Inara could help make sure that happened than she was more than happy to do it.

"Derek, I didn't tell you any of this to make you feel sorry for me. I don't want that. I just want you to understand..." And even then, she wasn't entirely sure she'd explained herself properly. She'd let him in farther than she'd ever let anyone and now he knew more about her than anyone did, even back home. "Please don't tell anyone, I don't want to be treated differently."

"Can't say I blame Zoe but it still doesn't mean I don't understand and respect your decision." If he only knew how Inara limited herself. That was something he would probably scold her about. The sky was the limit as far as he was concerned, especially if she gave up the companion business. --Something she had seemed to already do with him in Eudio. A part of him worried that maybe he ruined her somehow and she'd consider going back to it.

Had it been her illness which gave her pause with him or feelings of something more toward him? Inara asked him not to feel sorry for her or speak of her illness with anyone. She really didn't know him. Derek didn't get angry with Inara for what she asked. He could only be mad at himself. Maybe he hadn't tried being someone that he wasn't, but he hid who he really was from her and most of Eudio. "I get it. Your secret is safe with me."

He gave her a friendly smile then randomly dusted his hands off the side of his jeans. "So that cabinet. I took off the entire back. It was rotted with water damage. That's why I need to check the plumbing. Figured you'll be fine with an open back since it's against the wall." If she didn't want to be treated differently, he'd get right back to business so Inara could see he meant what he said. He'd soon call it a day and get down to the admin building.

Derek Morgan had some bargaining to do.

She truly hadn't been worried that he'd go around telling the whole of the city, it had just been a question that had slipped from her lips. Despite everything that had happened, she obviously trusted him enough to share her secret with. That should have told him a lot but maybe it didn't since he didn't know that no one back home knew about her illness outside of her doctors. She wasn't going to tell him that though, she didn't want him to feel pressured because of that knowledge.

Her smile faded only slightly when he flashed her the friendly smile. He was giving her what she'd verbally asked for and she was going to have to be fine with that. It was what she'd asked for even if it wasn't what she'd really wanted. But she nodded her head and flashed him a smile back, "I'm fine with whatever you think will work out best. Carpentry and plumbing have never been a strong suit of mine so I trust what you think should be done."

She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment and then nodded her head before beginning to move around him to get back to her papers. "Derek, I--" she hesitated beside him, her gaze moving back to him. There were so many ways she could have continued with that sentence. I miss you, I was stupid, I'm sorry... But she had said enough truths that day so she chose to stick with something much more simple. "Thank you."

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derek_morgan - 2015-12-23 10:38 (UTC) - Expand